Beloved Goddess,
I've been tracking you for days. Following your trail as I hike though these unknown woods... fighting back tears while running from fears; I'm desperate to find you!
I know. . .
I know!! This is not the wise woman way!
Truly, I honor the wisdom you taught me years ago, and with deep respect, I try to keep my focus on my sacred path. Yet I'm wasting away. I am feeling so stagnant and helpless... useless. You know that I am deeply grateful for all the ways you protect me and guide me to be a vessel of love for my tribe and community. Yet, I need more. I am aware that you want me to be brave and independent, but, but, I am struggling. As your adopted daughter, this doesn't come naturally for me. I need you. I need your magick, your hidden knowing, your wisdom, and your fearless strength.
Are you aware that I have too many unmet needs? Mama, I do not know how to gather enough to nourish and sustain myself! A few berries here, a few flowers there, and an acorn or two simply isn't enough! I'm so hungry my belly growls louder than thunder! I am weary of foraging month after month- finding only meager resources. I need help!
Please help me, Bear Woman.
As the giver of psychic abilities, please sharpen mine! Teach me to listen and allow me to hear my own inner voice of wisdom. Awaken the sleeping goddess hibernating deep within my mind, body, heart and soul. Show me how to stand in a place of power- and claim what I need to live and thrive while also safeguarding what is most precious to me. I am calling upon you for love, support and guidance. Please, show me the way.
I have been honoring the advice you gave me last year: Let life come to you... Slow down, retreat, rest and meditate for a while.
I have let go of so much. I have seriously tried reorganizing my priorities... All to no avail! I can't resolve this ongoing issue, alone.
Can you see me? I'm tired! I am going to sit here on this old tree stump under these shade trees and not take another step until I hear from you... You know my heart. Secretly, I hope that you will come find me. I'm so lost...
Clouds formed shapes, and then slowly floated away, leaves blew on the wind, bumblebees came and kissed each little white flower that lay blooming at my feet. I watched with patient delight. Since my thoughts had no place to root, they left as quickly as I became aware of them- as effortlessly as breathing. One with nature- I was lost in the peaceful flow of being. . . Until I felt, then noticed something unfamiliar.
A shadow creature crisscrossed before my eyes, distracting my reverie and capturing my rapt attention! I stared in perplexed amazement trying to follow its flight pattern as it darted back and forth. I had the distinct impression that it was a messenger; purposely sent to me!
At first, it appeared an intriguing, but blurry shape, fast moving and silent. I had no idea what it was. A bird? No! Though it was as swift as a hummingbird, it was three times too large! Was it a faery? Its body reminded me of one, maybe, but it flew too quickly this way and then, that. Faeries look like slow moving orbs of light. Whatever it was moved in large, wide sweeping circles as if trying to get my attention...
As I began speaking to it in sweet, soft tones, it seemed to slow, and finally came into view.
In an instant I realized it was a huge blue dragonfly! As large as my hand! I watched for long moments as it silently encircled me. Then, I heard a loud buzzing in my ear as it came from behind, and faintly brushed my hair with its iridescent wings.
I asked it to come and rest on my outstretched hand, so I could see it better; but it did not. It just continued circling me, as if it were on a sacred mission! Then, unexpectedly, I heard your voice telling me:
It's time to wake up. Stop focusing on fear and illusions. Stand up straight. Step into the light of day! Stop hiding yourself away behind the walls of your inner cave.
Look, my darling, and you will see that there is plenty. You are so dearly loved and cared for. It's time to use your faculties to brave the wild, enchanted forest! Trust me. You are fully equipped. And, you are more than capable of dealing with the unknown, or whatever situation presents itself as a holy opportunity of possibility.
Face your fear and stand tall! Do not allow any obstacle to get in the way between you and your joy. Get out of the fray before you starve to death!! Embrace adventure and do not fear making mistakes; doing so makes you strong!
Because she loves you, I sent dragonfly to help you navigate this dream- your life! Her ancient wisdom is a deep mystery. She will help dispel your confusion. She has amazing vision- we do not. Trust her to show you a vibrant new reality.
Like dragonfly, you too have spent most of your life in the developing stage. She will be your midwife, and will remain with you as you emerge from the husk of your former self, and begin to live the life you have only imagined and have long desired.
It's been so uncomfortable, lately, because you have been changing on a cellular level. Yield to the truth of your true essence! Go with the transformative flow of constant change. It's inevitable. Downsize your dreams. Focus only on a few at a time... Let all the old ideas of how things should look, feel or unfold, fall away.
Look in the mirror; envision yourself anew, create space for a higher vibrational version, as you transmute into a new expression of self.
It's time to stop looking to books and teachers; the answers are not outside of you! It is your own conviction that teaches you - no one gives you the answers - you see them when you are ready and able. Not before! Crack open the old identity of yourself and your life, and become the next experience!
Remember: Her medicine is deeply feminine; irrational. She will guide you in releasing logic so you can trust your inner knowing. Do not fret. You will not be able to have long, cozy discussions, or journal insights with her the way you do with me. Befriend her in other ways. She will give sudden flashes of knowing that empower you to summon new energy into being. Continue to be a witness. She is my gift to you- sent to teach you the sacred process of death and rebirth! It is time for your metamorphosis. Be willing to let the old die. Something new and unimaginably beautiful, colourful and much wanted is ready to be born through you! Do not resist, my daughter. Embrace the journey and the experience. You're going to be overjoyed and utterly delighted with the results!
Soon. You will see her again. Be watchful.
Thank you Mama Bear! I feel a new sense of unity, health and energy emerging from deep within. Your love empowers me, has sustained me, even when unaware. I'm now willing to let go of the old versions of my reality so I can birth the new me.
Thank you!
-Yours devotedly
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