Love Letter to Athena

 
Beloved Goddess, 

Though I know of you, I don't really know you.  Are the legends true? Were you really born from the head of your father as we've been told? If so, I must confess that I find it rather creepy, and most strange! Truthfully, this in part, has been the reason I resist getting close to you. I feel ashamed to admit that this has come between us, as I truly do love all faces of the Goddess (even those that frighten me). I'm sure you're quite lovely, and I know that you are very wise, so I am coming to you in all honesty, fully transparent, with the hope of knowing you.

As, a daughter of Gaia, and born from the body of womankind, the thought of anyone being born from the body of a man (and fully grown!) defies my limited concept of what is natural. Birth is a sacred mystery, a natural and holy act of flesh and spirit. Anyone not born of nature is alien-and alien ways of  birth (be it from the head of a god, the body of a man, a test tube, or any other un-natural way) frighten me. It goes against the laws of nature; and seems cold, cruel, and clinical, in a scientific sort of way. 

Maybe I'm a little jealous, too, that you were born fully aware, fully woman- no weird or awkward growing pains, never feeling unsure of yourself, inferior, small, or ignorant. Yet, at the same time, it makes me sad for you... that you were never a baby, nor a girl. You were never held, nurtured, or nourished at your mothers breast.

Being ruled by intuition, feelings, instinct and soul, and deeply connected to the natural order of things- namely the Divine Mother aspect of birth- I find it challenging to trust a Goddess born of man. Are you in alignment with the patriarchal way of thinking and behaving? I mean you no disrespect. Truly. I just do not understand. 

Thus the reason for my love letter; I am reaching out to you for deeper wisdom and understanding. Your attributes are in alignment with divine masculine energies; they do not feel connected to divine feminine energies. Please show me the ways that they are and share your thoughts and feelings on this matter. 

Offering me protection, victory, courage and leadership - even new clothes, I sense that you mean well... that you want to guard and care for me. Yet, I find myself resisting, and even avoiding you because you're so boyish- tough and 'street smart... Dare I say it? Butch. Maybe, it's because you bring to my awareness images of war, fighting, hunting, killing- and a sexuality that is not soft and feminine. Perhaps, it's these aspects of man in woman (which I don't understand or particularly like, albeit, necessary at times) that repulse me... as they're not natural or inviting, and not actually you, that I am most afraid of...

Maybe, you represent aspects within my own self that I don't know, understand or like. Perhaps, by avoiding seeing them within me, I feel justified in shunning you? I don't know. But, I want to be conscious of the choices I am making. I want deeper understanding of myself, and of you. I want to know the truth of who you are. 

I want to embody the gifts you offer, especially personal discipline, self-control and courage. 

Quite unexpectedly, I saw a beautiful little oak tree growing by the front door, this morning. It's leaves were perfect, supple, and the most inviting shade of shiny spring green! I feel that it's a sign from you. That you have come to me to help me manifest my desires. 

Help me to face whatever awaits me with a pure and strong heart.

Thank you.

-Yours devotedly