Love Letter to Ishtar

 
Beloved Goddess, 

Ishtar, don't tease me! 

Unlike you, I have always been a mother- to baby dolls, to siblings, to neighborhood children, to lost, sad, frightened and broken things- to flowers, birds, cats, taboos, passions and dreams.

We never speak of how overbearing, highly critical, hurtful and sometimes cruelly controlling my mother was, and can be. But, you witnessed the ways I was often poorly, and all together inadequately, mothered... the tears, the way I struggled to fend for, defend and protect myself. I sometimes still do. This is why you fiercely insisted, yet tenderly taught me how to mother myself! Thank you.

It has been a long, healing process; a transformative journey! Truly, it has provided me with a different outlook, a higher, deeper, boarder perspective.

A renewed form of maternal energy now surges through me. It is more mature! It is wiser, all-knowing, calmer, and compassionately loving. Somehow, it's even more real! It is deeply Tantric. It's less needy, wounded, wanting. I marvel at the way this holy maternal vibe weaves through everything I am and do. It is present in the way I nurture others and myself, in the way I think and offer insightful advice in matters of the heart, of life and death, in the way I hold sacred space for others to receive healing, comfort and acceptance. I see their longing, as it was once my own. 

This sacred fabric graciously provides the foundation of trust and grace. It  unifies and brings wholeness to all things. Allowing, it offers boundless forgiveness and an opening through which the darkest, most terrifying secrets may escape their chains, fears and horror, and come into the love and light of heart center to be seen, embraced and healed. And, without shame, guilt or blame, set free, fully released- transformed. 

Goddess, I hear your voice. 

Can you hear my primal scream? 

You know the vibrational energies of uninhibited sexuality and seductive sensuality are innate and integral aspects of who I am. 

Like you, I am a lover . . .  I love to love! 

I need to love.

You know my hearts secret desire to be united with my true love- my known but unknown spiritual consort. Why can't I find him in this physical realm? 

Yet, with your grace, I have somehow been able to contain these desires (I am in awe of this!!), and actually, have finally found true love within my own precious being! What a glorious gift! 

Perhaps I have chosen to be celibate these last seven years for this sacred purpose: As a form of  purification - As initiation into a my destined soul mission.

Tell me, please.

During this sacred time alone with you- reconnecting in wholeness with the divine essence of my heart and soul, I have come to a deeper understanding. As I embody your essence in my daily life, I have been empowered on every level- physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual! I continue to blossom...

No longer am I the adoring maiden with starlit eyes mistakenly seeing the man who can save me in every boy. No longer am I the demanding or jealous mother who childishly craves perfection or control due to her misguided fear of loss. No longer am I the seductress on the hunt, the insatiable harlot who can never get enough, or the fragile, self-sacrificing virgin who trades her innocence and priceless treasures for the approval of others. No longer am I the goddess who gives away her rightful power to kneel before a man- because, albeit silently unaware, she is so desperate and eager to be petted, held, seen, honored, known and loved. 

Surprisingly now, I draw men like moths to a flame, not because I am so beautiful, sexy or desirable. Not for the sensual, sexual pleasures that I once freely offered, but for the soft, quietly strong, yet gently vulnerable energy I exude, for the huge goddess energy I possess which allows him to surrender, rest and simply be. No longer expected to be virile, or needing to be seen as raw masculinity, their inner child -the hurting, wounded, weak and lost aspects that needs comfort, wants to be held, patiently, lovingly understood- finds its true power and purpose in my unconditional loving High Priestess presence.  In me, he sees You! He sees the truth of who I am!

I am Daughter of the Queen of Heaven and Earth! I am the daughter of the Moon. I am the daughter of Venus: the Morning and Evening Star! 

With this knowing, I reclaim my soul self; my power, my truth! I step fully into my place of Queenly authority. I am now, was ever, and shall always be the sovereign expression of empowered Femininity: the Holy She! 

I am no longer afraid of my own dark, mysterious, creative and destructive urges! I am independent- belonging to myself. I am inseparable oneness with the holiest source of pure Spirit. I have taken on the mantle of inner truth and strength, of outward beauty, grace and confidence. I stand tall, crowned in wisdom, courage, and constant change. I am ready to reign!

Goddess I hear your request: 

Offer this gift (Yes! The misunderstood mission of the Sacred Prostitute from ancient days in my Holy Temples) as your ministry. Shine your light in the darkness. I want you to merge your work with the 10th Ray of Light. 

Goddess, I am yours!

But, I am hesitant. 

I have considered your request many times before, and yet, I am still unsure how to do so in the purely sacred way you intend (those temple days and ancient holy ways are lost to us)- How can I do so in this day and age? How can I do so safely, with proper boundaries? How can I offer this holy act of Sacred Marriage to men in this patriarchal, misogynous, judgmental and body-shaming society? How can I do so without my soulful offerings being misconstrued, deemed immoral or illegal, misused, abused, or taken wrongly? How can I honor this request without draining my resources and utterly exhausting myself? No matter how I define or present it, some will be without soulful consideration of its divine intent. Ishtar, provide me with clear knowledge and detailed understanding of the logistics! 

Be with me, whispering guidance along the way. Give me visions and show me how it looks and feels. I have so many questions! I need help!

Yes, I hear you.

I know that I am being summoned.

Guide me!

Hold sacred space for men in a new way... Free them of their need or want to dominate, to control, to destroy, to harm, to defile, to enter into the holy of holies for the sole act of pleasure, power, or lust. I will show you. Help remind them of who they truly are- their true soul purpose so, they may enter the temple for a deeper soulful reason- for true healing and spiritual fulfillment, union, love- for surrender and to worship Me- as an offering of their heart; as a blessing to the Great Mother - to all womankind. I will guide you. Prepare yourself, without knowing what is yet expected of you. Be open to the possibilities in moments as they are presented. I will guide you. You will know just what to do. Trust me.

Ooh, Ishtar. 

I hear you. I trust you...

Like you, I will stand in my power, whole, divine, and free -balancing my inner masculine and feminine- strong and soft, wise and allowing: sure of myself.

I can feel the energy of the collective masculine, the shadow side of the divine He -leaning into me. Embracing me, he willingly surrenders his power to be closer to my heart, to honor the temple, my sacred yoni, to experience the rebirth his own vulnerable soul self... He longs to listen. 

Deep within, he remembers the hauntingly poetic, melodic, ancient song of woman. He yearns to hear again, the rhythmic flow of our secret language... He's ready to follow wherever he is led to go. He yearns to find his way back home.

Help me to bring this gift into being. 

Thank you.

-Yours devotedly